Premise
This article is based on a premise that people live in a Paradigm. And that narcissists have a specific Narcissistic Paradigm. There is a metaphysical leap here and we recognize it but we find it effective in understanding the narcissism, its effects, and a solution. The leap is that a person (narcissist) is a host for a Narcissistic Paradigm. This is based on a theory but also a psychological research that personalities, attachment styles do replicate trans-generationally. It has been shown that a narcissist will create another narcissist in a Child through processes, one of them being what we call (incorrectly) a Parental Alienation - Not what you think.
If we are carriers of a paradigm, and it has been passed onto us and we pass it on further, then it is not us. We are merely tools, or carriers, or means to ends of this paradigm. Additionally, it has been shown, psychologically that our conscious mind, our logic will hide our paradigm and will reject that we even have one. Scientific psychology does not use these terms but the 'ego', the 'shadow', the 'Id' all refer to the same thing, yet from a different angle. As such, we make the leap that the paradigm is external to the human, but it 'infects' the human, who then acts it out. Though external, it can't live without a human. We get it, it's a leap. However, we find this frame effective in actually addressing the problem of narcissism in a society.
With the above frame, we can analyze and understand the systemic narcissism on a different level, as the paradigm has its own purpose, and people merely act out in fulfilling it.
We completely understand how this runs contrary to the modern science and contemporary thinking. Yet that is exactly required here as contemporary approaches did not and do not work.
Modern psychology has figured out the narcissism pretty well. We pretty much know how narcissists think, behave, their motives. Yet somehow, we can't have it addresses. There is a push back in addressing it. And the 'Pyramid' explains this.
The Pyramid
The concept of a pyramid, as explained in this article, stems from experiences in a family legal system however we believe it translates to other systems as well. (Financial, political, medical, academic, etc...)
If you have been or still are exposed to a high conflict divorce case with a narcissist then you know, and you know intimately how does a narcissist behave, the deception, the coercion. But you also know how does the legal system react to all of this. And the reaction is that it becomes complicit to the coercion and the abuse and it will enable it. Let's analyze this in more detail.
However, one more caveat before we start. There is no cookie cutter explanation that applies to every person. For example, we believe that majority of lawyers in the family law also operate from within a Narcissistic Paradigm and we will explain why. However, that does not mean that every lawyer is a narcissist, every judge, or court appointed psychologist is a narcissist. So those that are not narcissistic will not behave as we describe below, as they will operate from a different paradigm. Yet those that are narcissistic will act in unison with each other on multiple levels.
Individual Level - Family
An abusive parent, a narcissist, will physically, sexually, or emotionally abuse its victim. It can go on for years and it goes along with intense control and gas-lighting where the victim has induced psychosis about what is happening (questions its own reality and even internalizes the message that it is his/her own fault). This entire process serves only one purpose and that is for a narcissist to get its own narcissistic supply, in whatever form that narcissist needs it. If the victim successfully separates from the narcissist, the narcissist attacks with vengeance. Many times, the narcissist has two faces, one is a public and this has an excellent image, and then a private one with its skeletons in the closet and that one is very well hidden (the induced psychosis is to protect the paradigm). After separation, the narcissist attacks as it feels threatened to be exposed and also because it is immensely hurt for being rejected (how could you?) and can't stand the pain. But if the victim is seen as the monster, then the pain is less bearable.
The behavior at this stage is immense coercion, abuse, deception, lying. Psychologically speaking, there is also "non-bizzare shared encapsulated persecutory delusion". If you've been in this situation as a victim, you know how powerfully damaging this is and how desperate it can make you feel (your desperation is actually narcissistic supply and they feed off it and that's why we wrote this Best Advice for Victims of Abuse Fighting in a Legal System).
In the above term, the "non-bizzare" means that the allegations are believable. They won't claim that the victim has 2 heads. They'll claim that the victim is an abusive parent and that the victim makes false allegations about the abuser being abusive. "Shared" means that the delusion is induced in other people. Now it is lawyers, doctors, psychologists, judges, they all start to believing the narrative. The emotional tone of the abuser's (false) narrative and allegations is so strong that other people subconsciously believe it - or even have an induced feeling that they need to help (the abuser) from the monster target. The abuser, within its own psychosis believes it, and the belief has existential component - so they actually really do feel abused by the victim. The victim, by separation and cutting off the supply, is basically "killing" the narcissist. So the abuser needs you back. As such, the abuser brings you to all these professionals and induces a psychosis in them. If the professionals are also narcissists, then they just get in line with the abuser to get their own narcissistic supply from the victim. Believing the psychotic narrative serves the motive of the paradigm. Their paradigms align. Yet, if they are not narcissistic, they still get into the induced psychotic delusion (just like the victim did during the relationship) and as such they will align with the narcissist. It's like a hypnosis. Think about it from the perspective of its motive, Narcissistic Paradigm is a powerful paradigm. And because it is so powerful through induced delusion and coercion, it validates its own grandiosity. The "encapsulated" refers to the delusion and the attack being very specific and targeted. Onto the victim only. Outside the victim, the narcissist behaves normally and evaluates situations and people normally. That's another reason why the allegations against the target are so believable. And the "persecutory" refers that it is after the victim. And it wants it destroyed.
So there are two stages of behaviors to this:
- The vampiric blood-sucking stage where the narcissist gets its supply from the source and gaslights and controls the source (during the relationship)
- The stage where it wants to destroy the source after it stops giving the supply (and leaves the relationship)
There is also a third stage, and that is narcissistic rage and that happens if you do succeed in exposing the narcissist but let's not go there now. This is however the most destructive stage. Remember that they feel no empathy and have no morals. Everything is permissible.
Little psychological narrative: "First cited by Paulhus and Williams (2002), the Dark Triad refers to a set of three distinct but related antisocial personality traits: Machiavellianism, narcissism, and psychopathy. Each of the Dark Triad traits is associated with feelings of superiority and privilege. This, coupled with a lack of remorse and empathy, often leads individuals high in these socially malevolent traits to exploit others for their own personal gain.” (Giammarco & Vernon, 2014, p. 23)
Professional Level
This level refers to attorneys or court appointed psychologists.
In the USA, family law attorney charges $400 per hour. What other entire industry, even on commercial or industrial level, can support these rates? None. That's a first give-away.
If you sense that your attorney is very selective in what evidence to present to the judge, "advises" you on how to plead to the court yet it goes contrary to helping you or your child, or if you have a general feeling that you are not understood, or if continuing the conflict and legal procedures is advised in some logical explanation, you might be dealing with a narcissist and its manipulation.
She / he would be in stage 1. Sucking you dry financially and gas-lighting you that it is in your best interest. It's the same thing as the parent abuser.
If you find a court appointed psychologist, reviewing your case, interviewing your child, and if you feel that she / he is biased or makes you scared, or attacks you, you might very well be dealing with a narcissist.
In both cases, what they are really after from 'the client' is their own narcissistic supply. Remember that they cannot feel empathy, and they see the world through a Narcissistic Paradigm in which "weak deserves to be exploited". The supply they are after, is a feeling of dominance and control over the victim. If the victim is distressed or has an anxiety, they feel so powerful and feed off the victim. The victim becomes their source of life. The money they get from the victim is added bonus to their ego. Best Advice for Victims of Abuse Fighting in a Legal System.
Judicial Level
If a judge is somehow siding with an abuser, dismissing victim's evidence and pleadings yet takes the abuser's ones with ease, if abuser is believed at face value but for the victim it is an uphill battle, if they don't care about allegations and to investigate them, or if the victim believes the justice is just not being served, the abuse not seen, there is very likely a person operating within a Narcissistic Paradigm as a judge.
Again, the judge will feed off the victim's anxiety and gets its own narcissistic supply and will rule in order to get more. She / he is not paid as well as a lawyer but the dominance, the control over the victim's and his/her children's lives, the power is what the paradigm is after.
On this level, one can already observe how multiple levels are feeding off targeted parent's supply and how they hand over this supply to each other. Narcissistic parent will bring the victim (a source of supply) that it wants destroyed into a den of wolves. The lawyers love a new client and will see everybody's financial statements and bank accounts and will advise the clients in what is in their own best interest - not clients. And they will give the clients legal and logical advice and basically control everything, while the victim goes through distress and even pays them for them to receive the supply. The amount of intoxicating power they feel is overwhelming. And the same goes for the judges.
All of the above is happening in Stage 1 of their behavior. The vampiric blood sucking stage where they get their supply. Should the victim try to fight back (against a narcissistic lawyer or a judge), it will immediately be punished. And so will its children. That is why we believe this to be the best advice: Best Advice for Victims of Abuse Fighting in a Legal System.
Systemic Level
This level refers to professional oversight offices, the ethics boards, the court oversight offices, etc... If anyone tries to complain and expose what the lawyers or judges are doing, he or she will encounter exactly the same behavior. Complicity, enabling, and hiding.
They all are in Stage 1 of their behavior. The systemic paradigm set up a system, where all its actors, and the system attracts narcissistic actors like a magnet, will get their supply. The Narcissistic Paradigm will get what it needs, and it will also replicate itself onto Children through Parental Alienation - Not what you think. That is why we MUST UNITE against our common enemy.
Legislative / Political Level
This is the level where public policies, funding, enforcement is set and is again complicit to the abuse on lower levels. This level supports the lower levels and it is closer to the "head of the monster". The "head" goes even to higher levels.
If you are a non-narcissistic professional, or a judge, or a politician trying to address the above, you will most likely be punished, sanctioned, and pushed away. You will immediately trigger Stage 2 of their response. The people with the Narcissistic Paradigm cannot feel empathy and the paradigm is only after its supply. If you touch it or threaten it, it will go into a rage and it bites back instantly. House representative Nancy Schaefer out of Georgia, rest her soul in peace, got murdered after she investigated Child Protective Services abusive practices. The evil is real.
National / Global Level
In the history of humankind, we have been here many times. Whether it is the German concentration camps, Russian Gulags, China's Mao's regime, or Chilean's Pinochet's Regime, they all created structures where people with the Narcissistic Paradigm were the ruling class and were feeding off the suffering of other people. They created the suffering and fed off it. The trauma is the nurturing ground for the paradigm's life and its replication that's why it recreates it. The historical mass enactments of the paradigm is nothing new.
Metaphysical Leap
If the paradigm is transferred trans-generationally through abuse then people are mere carriers of the paradigm. If people act out the paradigm they carry, and logically defend it as they reject they even have any paradigm, then what is this "thing" that "infects" people?
If multiple people with the same paradigm subconsciously recognize themselves and align in complicity to get their narcissistic supply from the same victim, then what is this "thing" that is acting in unison and causing an organization of itself on multiple levels, and what is its motive?
If multiple people with the same narcissistic paradigm build structures that then enables getting the supply for all members of the structure, and the structure is self-protective, and governed from the top, then what is this "thing" and what is its motive?
We MUST UNITE against out common enemy. We Have Had Enough.